Irish Caper Mantra
Hey,
I'm not a coal miner or a fisherman
and
I don't live in a company house,
or
own a kilt or play bagpipes
and
I don't know John MacDonald
but
if you knew his father's name or his nickname, I just might
My
friends are on pogie...not Employment Insurance
I
speak Cape Bretonese
not
English or French - unless I'm from Cheticamp
I
say "Yous" not "you" when referring to more than one person
I
can proudly sing every word of "The Island"
I
believe in saying Arsehole not Asshole
that
Ashley MacIsaac was alright until he went to Toronto
that
"bet up" is the past tense of "beat"
and
that after fifty you must go to "the bingo"
The
stick is something that ma threatened to beat you with
you
are a minority in Cape Breton if your grandma didn't have at least
one
picture of the pope
or
that portrait of Jesus Christ
and
a "puck" means a really hard punch or hit
not
just something you use in hockey
nothing
nice ever comes after the phrase "that one"
your
cousin is your cousint
and
"you old cunt" is a term of affection
just
as conversations begin with "what's goin' on bye?"
you
can ask a complete stranger to "saves a puff"
Moonshine,
if drunk well, will give you the shits
and
you don't laugh really hard at something you "roar" at it
A
BUNGALOW IS A COTTAGE
YOU
DON'T PRONOUNCE THE "H" AT THE END OF KEITH'S
AND
HOW THE HELL DO YOU PRONOUNCE "H" ANYWAYS?
BY
THE WAY, IT'S A "POINT" OF RUM, NOT A PINT OF RUM
CAPE
BRETON IS AN ISLAND OFF OF NOVA SCOTIA
THE
FIRST NATION OF TARBISH AND FIDDLE MUSIC
AND
THE BEST DAMN PART OF NORTH AMERICA
MY
LAST NAME IS IRISH
AND I AM A CAPE BRETONER